snapshots of our life.

So I’ve been doing a LOT of thinking lately.  Just lots going on in my head.  For awhile I have struggled with the feeling that I’m not where I was “supposed” to be at this point in my life.  I always had this idea of where our family would be, where my career would be.  My life has been planned out in my head since I was a little girl.  I told Craig that instead of planning my wedding since I was five like most little girls dream of, I was planning what my career would be and what life was like after the wedding. 

I saw a movie yesterday that I pretty much cried the whole way through.  I had read the book, P.S. I Love You a few years ago when I happened to come across it.  I have held on to it since then, meaning to read it again.  But then the movie came out and I decided to wait to reread it until after I saw the movie. 

I am a planner.  I’ve learned that about myself recently.  Most people think I fly by the seat of my pants (my mom probably really thinks that).  But I do plan.  I may not follow through with the plans I make, but by gosh there is a plan.  And I feel like lately I’ve drilled Craig a lot with my plan.  There is a part in the movie yesterday where the couple is fighting and she wants a bigger apartment before they have a baby and she wants a better job before they have a baby.  She has this plan for them so that they, in her words, “can finally start living”.  That is so how I feel lately!  And that’s why his line completely hit me in the gut and made me totally think about the way I’ve been lately.  He told her that they are living.  This is their life that they are living. 

I called Craig at the end of the movie when I was in my car on the way home just to tell him how much I love him.  It doesn’t matter what I do for a living, what he does for a living, how much money we make, I have him.  And that is one of my greatest blessings in life.  I’ve known this but it’s just sometimes life gets crazy and other things cloud what is really important.  I feel like lately all I have been doing is looking forward to what is coming next.  A large part of that has to do with how Craig and I’s relationship started.  We had a deployment looming in front of us the first day we met.  And we had to get through the deployment before we could get married and start our lives together.  And living in Columbus was only temporary so we waited that out until we could get settled into our lives up here. 

I  think the biggest thing I’ve learned from this year is to live in the now.  The career will eventually come.  The bigger, newer house will eventually come.  Babies will hopefully come when the time is right.  We aren’t on anyone else’s schedule but our own.  And through it all I have been blessed with the sweetest, most caring man to walk beside through this life with.  He’d do anything to make me happy and he doesn’t have to do a thing.  I have him to live life with, have a family with, God-willing grow old with.  Life could end today and all the planning in the world wouldn’t get me anywhere.  It’s all about the here and now.  In the grand scheme of things the people and relationships in your life is what really matters.  It took a movie for it to be staring me in the face. 

Someone is getting dropped off at Grandma’s tomorrow.  And Duke is staying at our friend Donna’s house where he has a huge fenced in yard and three other puppy dogs to play with.  We’re heading to Louisiana tomorrow after work and will be coming back on Christmas day.  Tomorrow is also my last day at work.  Lots of changes.  But I’m ready for them and excited about them. 

I’ve started and stopped this plenty of times now.  It’s been awhile and this post is probably going to be a lengthy one.  Lots has happened in the last few months. 

My dad had a heart attack on Halloween night.   It pretty much scared the crap out of me.  You know things like that can happen but at the same time you tend to forget they can happen to the people you love.  He is doing fine now.  He had double bypass surgery and he’s healing and moving around pretty good.  He’s been eating a lot better and the last time I saw him he said he had lost about 10 pounds.  I’m proud of him.  For someone who is pretty set in his ways about things, loves his steak and potatoes, Coca-Cola, peanut butter and cheese crackers, anything fried, white bread and hates anything green, he’s finding ways to eat better.  I NEVER thought I would see Coke Zero in his hands.    But I guess when you’re given a like-new heart you better take care of it. 

Mom and I went to the beach in October.  Her boss, Scott, let us use his condo in Destin.  We had so much fun together.  As much as I love Craig, I need my girl time.  Especially with my mama.   We haven’t laughed like that in awhile.  No one on this Earth gets me like she does.  And I think it’s vice versa.  I love it. 

For Craig’s birthday Mom and I gave him tickets to the LSU/Arkansas game.  So we spent Thanksgiving in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.  He had such a good time.  We both did.  They lost and it sucked that they lost but it was still an awesome experience.  We’re hoping to make the trip once a year or at least every other year.  Just a weekend down to go see a game.  Make a tradition of it.  The only real drawback to it was we ended up eating IHOP for Thanksgiving lunch and Ruby Tuesdays for Thanksgiving dinner.  It made us really miss home.  But by the game on Friday it was all worth it. 

Trust me there are a lot more!  We took plenty of pictures. 

And after a lot of thinking I’ve decided not to go to law school.  So starting in January, I am going back to Georgia State to get my Accounting degree.  Undergrad and then Masters.  And I’m excited.  This just fits better for us.  For a lot of reasons.  I’ve thought about it a lot.  And stressed about it a lot.  But I feel like I’ve made the right decision.  In the grand scheme of things, that’s all that really matters.  I’m nervous because it’s change.  But I’m excited about it. 

And just because I want to….here’s Sadie’s newest picture in her hoodie.  Isn’t she a cutie!?